There are some peculiar idiosyncrasies that seem to be common amongst women "of a certain age." I'll define the age as 50-65. After the age of 65, the idiosyncrasies change and are bundled into one neat word, "dementia."
As a 53 year old, idiosyncratic woman I present to you my confessional:
- I have been known to be wearing 3 pairs of readers at one time - one pair on my nose, one pair on my head or hat, and one pair dangling from the collar of my shirt. I have also noticed that when I have been sporting 3 pairs of readers, no one answers me when I ask, "Have any of you seen my readers?"
- While putting on my makeup, I use a hand mirror to do the "detail work" which includes working with a mascara wand, a eyeliner pencil, or a pair of tweezers. About once a week, I think to myself, "Hmm. I can't see my eyelashes (or lash line or chin hair)." After spinning the mirror to the other side, I'm always shocked when I realize that I had already been using the magnified side.
- The decor on my night table includes a lamp, a clock on an easel, a small topiary, and a jumbo bottle of Tums.
- Somehow, I got on the mailing list for the AARP.
- Words like "Glucosamine" and "Chondroitin" have tiptoed into my vocabulary.
- When I have the privilege of holding a baby or a small child, instead of missing my own sons' baby fresh smells, I long for a fragrant grandchild.
- Going to matinees and dining at 5:00 both greatly appeal to me.
- A couple of times I've been stopped by residents at Raider Ranch, the new home of Mimi (age 83), and asked, "When did you move in?" I hold no grudges due to the fact that the actual minimum age requirement for "luxury, carefree living" is 55.
- Sometimes when I'm reading a magazine, I realize that I've been holding it at arm's length which can only mean one of 2 things: 1) my readers are still on top of my head, or 2) it's time to move up to 2.0 readers.
- I came to the grim realization a few weeks ago that I probably shouldn't be wearing shorts in public again. Ever.
- My ears prick up when I hear the words "health care reform."
- The words "luxury, carefee living" sound really good to me.