River Monsters & Mimi

Mimi didn't wake up until I called her at noon yesterday to see if she wanted to go water sock shopping at Academy.  I've been told that foot protection is a good idea in the surf of Maui.  She sleepily told me that she would hop out of bed and be ready in an hour.

I called her at 1:15 to tell her that I was running late and asked, "Did you have your breakfast?"

"Oh, yes!  I had a bowl of Kashi mixed with Special K.  I like 'em mixed because Kashi has those big dried strawberries in it.  I'm having LUNCH now!" she informed me.

"Lunch, too?" I asked.

"Yes, now I'm having blueberry yogurt with some walnuts.  Since we'll be gone for a while, I didn't want to miss it."

"Of course not!  You're so smart!" I agreed.

During the drive to Academy, I asked her why she slept so late.  She usually sleeps until 10:00 or 10:30.  

"I stayed up late watching a show about fish."

"Fish?!"

"Yes, this man was talking about piranhas in some river somewhere.  They're not actually piranhas.  They're like piranhas.  They like to eat people."

"Uh-huh," I mumbled absently.

"They are particularly fond of eating men's genitals," she continued.

"What?!  Did you just say 'men's genitals?!'" I exclaimed pulling the conversation into full focus.

"Yes.  They like to eat men's genitals.  I guess it's because they look like worms," she explained in an off-hand, matter of fact manner.

I kid you not.

"What else did the man say, Mom?"

"He said that those fish won't eat you if you keep perfectly still in the water.  If you start flailing around, they will eat you up," she declared as the resident expert on male-genitalia-eating fish.

"So, how do you get away from them if you can't move your arms and your legs?" I asked feeling like Art Linkletter holding a mike up to a 4 year old expectantly.

"I guess you just have to wait for them to leave."

"I see.  I guess you can only hope that a naked, flailing male dives into the water downstream," I grinned.

With a big grin and her sweet little giggle, she said, "That's right.  A naked, flailing man."

What had she been watching until well past her 8:30 bedtime?

River Monsters.