Thursday, October 25, 2012

Momma's Still Got it Goin' On

Yesterday I went to Old Navy to exchange a shirt.  Let me set the scene.  I stuffed the shirt and receipt into what I thought was an Old Navy bag.  As I was getting the bag out of the car, I realized that it was actually a Bed, Bath and Beyond sack.  A way big sack.  Somehow seeing that sack made me feel like a little old lady.  I can't explain it.  Carrying that oversized wrong-store-sack with the little shirt in it made me feel, well, dated.

I was actually looking relatively great in my skinny jeans, cowboy boots, a denim tunic shirt (meaning it's long and covers up a world of sins), and the required bangles.  So, I held my head up high, and headed into the store wagging my B, B, and B way big sack.  

Just as I rounded the corner fumbling to get my keys tucked away in my purse on the way to the register, I heard a sound that I haven't heard in yeeeeeeears.  A duet of clear, high-pitched wolf whistles.  I mean...who does that nowadays?!

wolf call?  cat call? either way.

I snapped to attention and looked up to see who was meriting the whistles.  Just across the way were two high school boys who were grinning like monkeys looking MY WAY.

Three Second Thought Process:  "Oh my gosh!  Are those boys whistling at ME?  Well...they are looking at me AND smiling soooooo.  [I quickly glanced down to see to inventory my outfit - cute top, skinny jeans, cowboy boots, required bangles - check, check, check, check.]  This IS a cute outfit, but can they not see that I'm probably older than their  own beloved mothers?!"

During my Three Second Thought Process, the boys' eyes got really big and they began laughing uncomfortably behind their grins.  I turned around and, sure enough, there was a cute little high school girl bopping around the corner behind me.  She was definitely wolf-whistle-worthy.  She too, was smiling.

I decided to savor the moment.  "You guys meant that for me, didn't you?!"  Uncomfortable laughter behind awkward grins.  "Well, thanks!  You made my day!"  And, off I went to the check out line wagging my Bed, Bath and Beyond bag still riding high on the good feeling from the accidental "compliment."

Once back in the car I sat still for a moment swiggin' on my sweet tea laughing at myself.  "Seriously, Carolyn.  Did you really get a thrill from the whistles of a strangers who were basically jail bait?  How pitiful is that?!"  I guess that even at the ripe old age of 55, poochy belly, 1.5 readers, gray roots and all, it still feels good to have your "beauty" validated.  

Thanks, boys.  You gave me a snicker (self-deprecating though it may have been), a moment of unexpected delight, and a confessional blog.  The gift that keeps on giving.


{FYI to Alan:  Apparently my newest Love Language includes complimentary whistling.}
Momma's still got it goin' on.
+++++++++++

I just had a thought that was simultaneously funny and horrifying.  What if...in a parallel universe, one of those teen boys has a blog?!  

Would it read...
Me n Taylor was hangin' at Old Navy yesterday waitin' for Chelsea to show up.  She came around the corner and me n Taylor whistled cause, I mean, she's HOT.  A pudgy old lady posing in skinny jeans and a big-ass shirt thought we was whistlin' at HER.  GROSSSSSS!  As if!  Dream on, Big Momma.

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