Wednesday, November 24, 2010


I have my eye on a new career.  I can work from home every day in my pajamas.  I'm not sure how the pay works, but I can't wait to find out.  I aspire to be a Spam-Blocker Vocabulary Generator Technician - known in the business as  "Splock Techs."

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term "spam-blocker":  Spam-blockers are those hard to read wavy words that one must enter when signing up for just about anything on the web. 

woof Tomb
PauNchy tree
gaLaxy schRub
murk splendor
fewn higGle

I have been working up a repertoire to submit with my resume.  I have created categories and themes in order to heighten the thrill of the spam-blocking experience.  Below are some samplings of my creations from a few of my collections:

  • Autumn SplendorFoOtball bLupers, Kotton GinNin' tYMe, 4 aLaRm cHiLi  
  • Havin' a BallBoWLing4 KAsh, linE of scRim Age, 3 UP 3 DoWn
  • Holiday MagicfranKinceNse 'n' Myrrh, tRim dA tReE, CaLoRiES gUh-Lore
  • Ladies Who Lunch - sAlad DreSsing on thu sIDE, WaTEr wit LiM oN, HoW mUch Is mY ParT O dA biLL?
  • Oldies But Goodies - i WAnna hoLd uR HaNd, 3 DawG niTE, bLU suH-WaDe sHooz

I especially enjoy the audio version of the blockers.  After simply clicking on the audio button, a fascinating recording begins.  It begins with some very distracting "white noise" like radio static underneath which a voice quietly lists a few words like "orange, cake, driveway, bird."  It's awesome!  Not to mention entertaining!  The possibilities are endless...

  • Screeching tires followed by a crash with the words (spoken by a frantic woman) "call," "you," "right," and "back."
  • Crunchy popcorn chomping and straw slurping noises with "I," "don't," "know," "nothing," "about," "birthin'," "babies," "Miss," and "Scarlet" whispered underneath the noshing noises by a woman with a slow Southern drawl.
  • Doors slamming, cabinets opening and closing, and feet stomping back and forth coupled with a man's frustrated voice yelling "has," "anyone," "seen," "my," "blankety," "blank," and "keys."
  • Little boys laughing hysterically accompanied by the whirring sounds of a small kitchen appliance with an angry female voice exclaiming "put," "the," "lid," "on," "the," "blender!" 
I have decided to create my own company dedicated to spam blocker creativity.  My company will be called "miGht aS WeLL hAve fUn whiLE U JumP thrOUgh ThiS hOOP."  "MAWHFWUJTTH" [mof-wooj-thu] for short. 

The next time you enter in your information on a website or try to participate in an online poll, and you see an entertaining phrase like "WhuZ uP doC?," know that I'm living my dream. 

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